Monday, April 30, 2012

Random Thoughts

After the heavy tone of the last post, I thought it would be nice to have some random thoughts to lighten up the spirit here:

Kids do not know how to handle rhetorical questions
When my kids don't listen, we make the mistake of asking them, "How many times do we have to tell you something before you'll do it?"  The 7-year-old answers, "A hundred."

Remember when you said you wouldn't say to your kids the stuff your parents said to you?  You lied.
My children were complaining that they didn't get to play on the playground before choir practice like the other kids did.  I said, "If the other kids jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?"  Not understanding rhetorical questions (see my previous point), the kids didn't know how to respond, but the custodian standing nearby cracked up and said, "My mom used to say that to me."

One way to get kids to stop complaining about a boo-boo?  Kindly suggest amputation of the injured part.
"Mommy, my toe hurts."
"I'm so sorry to hear that, sweetie.  Would you like for me to cut it off?"

"OK sweetie, just go back and play, OK?"

Chicken leg quarters may be cheaper, but they are a nightmare to cut up for kids.
If you're making something that they can just pick up and eat, then all right, go for it.  But if there's a sticky sauce, it's worth just getting the split chicken breasts.  They're so much easier to cut that you'll save time and sanity.

My kids will eat anything with ranch dressing.
People are astonished when they see my kids eating salad.  I figured salad was worth a try after hearing them ask over and over for ranch dressing to go along with anything non-dessert-related that I tried to feed them.  Sure enough, they are more than willing to chow down on a salad as long as there's ranch dressing on top.

Bacon works well too.
When my 6-year-old found out you could put ranch dressing AND bacon on a salad, he was in heaven.

Parents with kids are quite understanding when you have to interrupt them to keep your children from killing themselves or others.
I was at a church dinner when I saw my children trying to climb a tree outside that was definitely NOT strong enough to hold their weight.  A couple of friends tried to say hi to me as I was walking toward my kids, but they were quite understanding when I kept walking and said, "Excuse me, I'll come back and talk to you after I chastise my children."  Both of them nodded profusely

Chocolate chip cookies are a key to successful negotiations.
We'd probably be a lot closer to world peace if a freshly baked batch of chocolate cookies was supplied for every United Nations session.  I'm able to get my kids to do amazing things (like eat vegetables or clean up) if there's a chocolate chip cookie at the end.  Luckily, my kids are both incredibly skinny and eat loads of healthy foods, so I can offer the occasional cookie bribe without feeling guilty.

When you're the mom of boys, be prepared for grossing out.
I have a good threshold for bathroom humor.  I'm like Fiona on Shrek and am not easily grossed out, but even I get tired of the burping, farting, and other topics of conversation that amuse young boys.  When my younger child was telling a story at his birthday party, the adults were enthralled by his creativity and level of detail.  The kids were won over when he used the word "underwear".

Saturday, April 28, 2012

When Mom Goes To The Hospital

There was a long lag between posts on my blog.  I've been dealing with two situations that made it very hard to write, and which were hard to write about while I was dealing with them.  But I do need to write about them now that I've had a chance to get detached from the situations, because they are unfortunately very real situations that can come up for many moms.  I'll start by looking at a health issue.

As a mom, I've always thought the worse thing that could happen is for one of my children to get sick.  My health has never been at the forefront of my thoughts.  Sure, there are things I can't do that other moms do, but there's so much I can do - most particularly, love them like crazy - that my health issues have never really gotten in the way.  Like other moms, I've been reminded that we need to take care of ourselves - like they say on the airplanes, get your oxygen mask on before you put one on your child - but like other moms, I've found that easier said than done on a day-to-day basis.

But I have realized that an unexpected health crisis for me can fall in a close second.  I went to the doctor one day because one leg was bigger than the other, and before my head could stop spinning, I was admitted to the hospital.  I was there for a week for treatment of a large blood clot in my leg.  As tough as that was, the worst part was worrying about my kids.  They left for school one morning, and when they got home, they found out that Mommy wasn't home and that no one knew when Mommy would be back.  And despite that unexpected situation, they still had to go to school and be taken care of amidst the chaos.

Even though I wasn't able to be with them, there were still some things I could do.

Hospital visits - This has got to be an individual decision.  I had decided that I didn't want the children to visit me, because I knew I looked like a mess, and I didn't want to scare them with all the tubes stuck in me and all of the other scary things about a hospital setting.  I was in the cardiac care unit for several days, and I was glad they had a rule that children under 12 were not allowed to visit.  One of the nurses told me she would bend the rule for me if I wanted to see my kids, but I knew they'd be absolutely terrified by what they saw if they did.  It was unnerving enough for me to see the setup when I was wheeled out of my room for procedures, and I was old enough to understand it better than they would.

But don't forget the phone - I had a chance to talk to the boys on the phone, and we had a terrific time talking.  I was as upbeat as I could be, given how bad I felt, because I didn't want them to worry about me any more than they already did.  I focused on trivial things that wouldn't scare them, like Mommy sitting in bed watching TV.  I made sure that they knew I had brought my pillow pet to the hospital with me (yes, I sleep with a stuffed animal!  It keeps me from contorting my arm and making my hand cramp during the night), and it did make them feel better to know that I wasn't completely alone.  They could relate to sleeping with a pillow pet, and it was definitely not scary for them to imagine me lying in a bed with a stuffed bunny rabbit.

Think about hubby - My husband is a fixer, and I knew it was driving him nuts that he couldn't be everywhere for everybody, and that he couldn't get me out of that hospital any faster.  But I insisted that he leave every night to pick up the kids from after-school care and not to visit me at night.  Even on the hardest nights in the hospital - including one where I couldn't stop sobbing until I had been brought quite a bit of lovely sedatives - I knew my husband was in the right place being there for the kids.  I had no doubt, even at my loneliest times, that his being home parenting our children was the place I needed for him to be.

Ask for and accept help - Thank goodness we had so much family in town.  With both sets of grandparents and an aunt around, the kids were surrounded by people who wanted to do anything they could for the boys.  The boys got to eat meals with adored relatives, so it didn't feel bad at all.  This help continued after I got home too, since people were nice enough to bring us meals.  Since my kids aren't picky eaters, they loved having people making yummy meals for them.  I owe a special thanks to the dear lady who introduced my kids to lasagna - I could never get them to try it, but they adored the ones she made for us!

When you've home - No matter how tired you are, or how much healing you still have to do when you get home from the hospital, the kids missed you terribly and need whatever you can give to them.  Luckily for me, my boys were at an age (6 and 7 years old) that they were content cuddling.  I couldn't get around much, but they could climb onto the sofa and curl up next to me, and that was all right for all of us.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

The Easter Bunny Doesn't Know Everything

The night before Easter...the boys are in bed, the baskets are prepared and waiting to be pounced upon the next morning.

Easter morning...the baskets are gleefully opened before going to church.  The coloring book goes into a bag to go to church, the rest to be appreciated once everyone got back home.

Easter afternoon...time to relax and unwind watching one of the movies from the Easter Bunny.  Should it be Muppets or Puss in Boots?  The vote was for Puss in Boots.  After we opened the DVD and popped it into the player, we learned an important lesson about the Easter Bunny.

Sometimes, the Easter Bunny gets it wrong.

You see, there are a few movies out there about the dashing cat.  But if you're not careful, instead of getting that one inspired by the Shrek character, you'll get The True Story of Puss and Boots.  Instead of listening to the dulcet tones of Antonio Banderas and Selma Hayek, we got...William Shatner.  So we parents hid our disappointment of listening to The Shat by excitedly complimenting the Easter Bunny for finding a new movie for us.

But there were a few eye rolls behind the kids' backs.